Many of us struggle with inappropriate relational cording: any compulsive or addictive relationship that consistently returns us to the same place in our personal lives. We choose to either hold our ground against an attractive, but ultimately dissatisfying person, or to – yet again – allow ourselves to enter into the same kind of relationship: one that we know is against our best interests.
The mechanism for inappropriate relationships can be seen wired into the Etheric body via the chakra cord system, and manifests in how we repetitively seek to connect to another person who is not good for us. As adults we are repeating an earlier (and dysfunctional) solution to an authentic childhood need, originally frustrated due to family circumstances. In our childhood while reaching out to find love and appreciation from our caregivers we may have been met with schizoid absence, borderline fragmentation, or narcissistic exploitation. An awareness of our habitual process, where we discover how we do this, is the first step, and is then followed by the dissolving of challenging relationship contracts.
We then move on to the next step: energetically reclaiming the lost emotional consciousness when hooked into an inappropriate relationship. We can begin to heal the exhausting energy drain – which is how invasive cords manifestly affect the physical system – by initiating a self-care regime to reverse it, as well as deliberately pulling the lost or stolen energy back into our cells. Once we are filled with our life force (as opposed to innocently handing it over to someone in the vain hope of receiving love in return for capitulation) we can move more easily to release them, and to begin preparations for the arrival of a better choice. This waiting period is the trial-by-fire that most children of dysfunctional families fear the most: an empty time, unfilled by the drama and chaos caused by dysfunctional friends and lovers, but it an essential time for clearing away the past.
Chakra cord energy healing work pulls the energy you habitually give to the other back into yourself, so you can experience a new-found expansion of self. To support the healing process you must break the habit of contact with the other, and make a conscious decision to wait for healthy change to integrate into your energy consciousness system. You use the waiting time to reset your values to those that any healthy individual would expect to have in a relationship. Start working to draw someone into your life who is at the same level of awareness as you, someone who demonstrates a track record of words consistent with their actions, and someone capable of self-reflection and mutuality.
This wait may be lonely at times. But the healing of an inappropriate relationship is worth its weight in gold, because ultimately – just like precious metals – your life force has an intrinsic value, recognized the world over, as opposed to a paper fiat currency or the “promise to pay”. Choose yourself, respect yourself, be loyal to yourself right now. Know your value. Heal your past where – for whatever reason – you could not have made a healthy choice. Consciously release relationships of questionable value, learn to tolerate the inevitable loneliness of the gap, and prepare for the arrival of your new life.
© 2013 by Dean Ramsden. All rights reserved.