Relationships always include various agreements by both parties, some of which are conscious and stated up-front (such as, “I care about you emotionally, and want to spend my recreational time with you”). And some of which are hidden, perhaps unstated, such as “I’m looking for a life partner, and you (my boyfriend) have many of the qualities on my personal wish list, so let’s continue to see each other.” Both types of agreements can be viewed through the eyes of contractual law when we enter – willingly or unwillingly – into any form of relationship with another person.
This is not just about a contract with a personal (or a business) partner. This may also be an unspoken agreement to play a certain role in your family. It could even be a contract with yourself: to only allow a certain part of your self to be seen by others. But if a law court can decide if you have entered into an unfair legal contract, and then dissolve it for you, how can you make a similar stand for fairness in all your personal relationships?
An example of dealing with contracts can be seen in the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) UK regulations regarding Unfair Terms in Consumer Contracts Regulations (Online document is here). They state that when a consumer enters into a contract that they later discover is unfair towards them the OFT can, firstly, assist the consumer in renegotiating that contract to bring it into alignment with the legal acceptance of fairness. Can you do that with any unfair relationship in your life? Perhaps begin by writing out the “contract” between yourself and your significant other, to actually put it on paper, and see if it meets a generally accepted level of fairness?
One statement in OFT document caught my eye: “If a part of a contract is found to be unfair the court will not allow the company/business to enforce that part of the contract. The law also says that if a company or business tries to exclude liability or responsibility for themselves under a contract, that this may be unfair, and in some cases lead towards making the contract null and void”.
What if you looked at your existing (or previous) relationships through the same lens as contractual law? Relational connections do hold a powerful energy of intention, deeply affecting your consciousness down to the soul level. Relationship contracts are a big deal. Are your significant other “contracts” fair? If not, can they be renegotiated? And, if it turns out the contract was unfairly weighted against you from the beginning, and that the other has no intention of redressing any unfairness, can you ultimately take the personal power to declare that the original relationship contract between you is now null and void?
If a human system of legal contracts can do that with an unfair business contract, then I – as an embodied soul attempting to grow and thrive – should equally be able to end any dysfunctional or toxic relationships in the same manner. I will need to go through a process to access the issue and then to take appropriate action. But not to end such a relationship is emotional slavery.
And can you be contracted into slavery under law? “If a right to perpetual service can be acquired lawfully at all, it must be acquired by one who is free, who is sui juris, and competent to contract … but there could be no doubt, but such a contract (perpetual service) with a person in a state of slavery would be absolutely null and void.” (Sir William Blackstone, from Commentaries on the Laws of England, Vol.1)
Perpetual emotional slavery – any unfair relationship contract – can only be kept alive by your participation in that contract. Let us declare unfair and toxic contracts null and void, so that we can release the drain on our life force, and move on with our lives.
Link to another posting related to this topic.
© 2013 by Dean Ramsden. All rights reserved.
An amazing article. just this morning I was thinking about organ donation. Most people would be outraged if they had agreed to be an organ donor and somebody tried to harvest their liver before they were ready to surrender it. So many of us have donated our hearts this way to unworthy causes….! I am taking mine back! I am still living! I need it for ME!