It’s very common when healers implement invasive cord removal that, as the client start to change (or shift, or clear their energy system) the originator of the invasive cord attempt to make contact with the client. Prior to invasive cord work the client should be prepared to face their relationship with honesty and courage, as invasive cord work confronts personal issues at a visceral level. As noted in part one of this article, invasive cords symptoms may include some form of energy loss (fatigue, or emotional depression), obsessional thoughts (of the other person, or fears of a life without them), or an actual sensation of pain in the associated chakra.

As we explore the different levels of these invasive cords I want to stress that just because an individual sends out such a cord it does not make them a bad, or evil, person. Invasive cords are a common but often inappropriate use of the relational energy field system. The person sending the cord is attempting to use manipulation or seduction to get what they want: by extending chakra cords rather than entering into a dialogue or a mutual negotiation with another person.

Invasive cords are usually found entering the second chakra (Swadhisthana), the fourth chakra (Anahata), or the Sixth chakra (Agnya). This are the “intake” chakras: their function is to allow deep contact with the outer world, for various levels of intimacy and sharing. However, the very nature of intake chakras leaves them vulnerable for exploitation and “hijacking” efforts by the unconscious motivations – and energy systems – of others.  Invasive cords will also be found in the other chakras, but rather than feeding off our needs and desires these other cords misdirect an authentic perception rather than supporting a recognizable truth. For instance, a third chakra invasive cord may turbo-charge our childhood conditioning that our own needs in a relationship are secondary to the other persons needs. Co-dependent behavior can be enhanced by such a third chakra invasive cord, in effect misappropriating the victim’s life force for themselves.

These distinctions – invasive cord draining of energy in input chakras (chakra 2,4,6) and misappropriation of relational needs in the other chakras (chakra 1,3, 5) helps the Relational Energy healer to orientate the energy work so as to plug any symbolic Achilles heel of the client’s chakra system. After the invasive cord removal the chakra that has been affected can be supported to repair and grow into fullness. These two events – invasive cord removal followed by chakra-specific healing- often lead to rapid change in the clients life. By regaining the life force formally drained from them (or, in many cases, given away freely) clients often experience a surge of personal growth advancing their personal evolution. When you are no longer invaded by the relational cords draining or influencing you, then you can anchor back into your own life. You get your life back. You begin to change.

Part one of this article can be found here: The Invasive Chakra Cord.

]]> http://www.blog.deanramsden.com/invasive-chakra-cords-part-two/feed/ 2 http://www.blog.deanramsden.com/family-karma/ http://www.blog.deanramsden.com/family-karma/#comments Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:38:40 +0000 Dean Ramsden http://www.blog.deanramsden.com/?p=3714 There are two kinds of people in the world: those that have lost a parent, and those that have not. For many, the experience of the death of a mother or a father is a shattering experience … because you always expected them to be here. The inner child within each of us cannot imagine life without the mother, or the father. We are all unprepared for feeling like an orphan.

When a client books a session with me soon after a parent has died I am often aware of two main issues they are dealing with:

1. Emotional release (expressive) work

2. The energetic DNA transfer (family karma) that may pass between the chakra cords of offspring and parent

Emotional work is best taken to a trained counselor, as often the client has spent years supporting and sacrificing for an elder parent, perhaps having accompanied them through illness, or have suffered emotional estrangement of some kind. Psychotherapy can be an invaluable tool in coming to terms with past events, as well as exploring new options for the future.

It is the energetic DNA transfer (or “download”) across the mother or the father chakra cords after the loss of a parent where I can be helpful for a client. This is a process that happens to many clients, as the heritage information from their newly-deceased mother or father seeks to download into them, as lineage holder. This is the energy consciousness of the family system seeking passage of family patterns into the future. It is where the family patterns will replicate or sustain themselves, generation after generation. These patterns degrade over three to four generations, and the impact of an ancestor’s struggles upon our current life has been noted in various classical sources.

“The gods visit the sins of the fathers upon the children” – Euripides (c.485-406 B.C.)

“For the sins of your fathers you, though guiltless, must suffer” – Horace (Odes, 3)

“The Lord is long-suffering, and of great mercy,forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generations”. The Bible (Numbers, 14)

The mechanism for the energetic DNA (or family karma) appears two-fold in nature. Firstly, the patterns are “downloaded” into your auric energy system, at birth so that you get to participate in your family system. Of course, this is usually unconscious on our part, as we assume the personal issues with which we wrestle are exclusively our issues. Shakespeare tells us that “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and entrances. And one man in his time plays many parts” (As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 7). The roles in which we often find ourselves are often just like theatre. And we unconsciously participate in a family heritage (or ancestral) drama.

The second part of receiving the family karma occurs right after the parental death, and may extend three to six months afterwards. During that time the lineage holders are “downloaded” with karmic patterns through the chakra cord system, so as to allow the “family line” to continue forward in time. But not every offspring member directly takes on all the family patterns. There are many variables.

Energy healing work can potentially make the process of taking on (or of not taking on) family karma much more conscious. For many of us, the “sins of the fathers (and the mothers) may need ending right here, with us. We can interrupt the unconscious assumption of family karmic burdens, and come to make new choices. By becoming aware of what is being passed on to us we can pick a new direction.

Using chakra heritage cord work we may find the tools for the transformation of ancestral “iniquity” (absence of spiritual values) and then work towards a fresh start. We can move into the future freed up from much of the compulsion to repeat the past. Or, at the very least, to come to recognize old family karma quickly, and then to nip it in the bud. We can move from being a player on the stage of life, and graduate to authorship … and write the true story of our life, rather than repeat the life of those long gone before us.

Related Post: Working With Heritage Chakra Cords.

Meditators experience the thinking process as analogous to watching clouds drifting across the inner landscape. All spiritual paths point us towards necessity of the breaking of the illusion of the thinking process as being an objective reality. It is the watcher of our thoughts – the observer self – that truly deserves our focus. This is because while thoughts emerge to try and make sense of the outer and inner worlds, thoughts default to a black-white splitting of reality into polar opposites (duality). Manipura chakra is designed to do this for the young mind: to simplistically break down the world into meaningful experiences, and to then orientate itself around those experiences. Manipura digests meaning.

After our emotional connections to things in the outer world (see second chakra) comes the meaning we layer into the outer world using the third chakra, We come to believe in conclusions our minds have formed as though these snapshots of truth are reality. But the truth revealed by spiritual awareness is that our thinking mind is always flavored by emotional attachment (second chakra) and by our physical drives (first chakra). In a nutshell, our so-called rational minds are not objective and logical about anything. The mind is programable, and easily fooled by conclusions or perceptions that are false. Just ask the hypnotist, the psychotherapist, or the politician, about how easily the mind is fooled.

Where the second chakra forms relational cords to people that anchor in feeling states or provide relational attachment, the third chakra cords link us to our constructed concepts and opinions about others. An opinion is when you ally yourself to one side of any idea in opposition to the other side.  We all build the “house” of the self using these building blocks of opinion. The mind of the personal egoic self is an accumulation of opinions … with some truth scattered around. This means that the mind itself can become a hindrance to personal development because, as Mark Twain famously said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so”. Hundreds of years before Twain the third Chinese patriarch of Zen would immortalize this vital wisdom in the Hsin Hsin Ming:

“If you wish to know the truth

then hold to no opinions for or against anything.

To set up what you like against what you dislike

is the disease of the mind ….

Indeed, it is due to our grasping and rejecting

that we do not know the true nature of things….”

Unless we come to appreciate the reality of how the mind works we may simply move through life from opinion to opinion, from one false choice to another false choice. Until the observing self is recognized and honored we may end up lost in fantasies spun by the mind. Any form of personal development or spiritual growth has to arrive at this point: the willingness to confront what we think is the problem, and then to move from opinion into reality. Only by a personal growth shift from mind-dominated choices into a true choice, where we shift from our illusions into creative options, can we evolve efficiently.

When I work with the cords of the third chakra my task is to make the opinions and inherent choices built into Manipura’s opinions become more clear to my client. This is done not by psychotherapy but by cleaning the cords, clearing them of lower astral material, and by strengthening self-cord development. Internal shifts may then follow when the client allows more material to become conscious to him, or her. As long as we think we know what the problem is we will tend to reinforce the mental groove worn into the consciousness system by that opinion. The opinion of the mind has power by virtue of both habit and by our lack of perception of other options. Growth comes when we break free from those habits.

If we live with a closed mind we only see what we are allowed to see. We are the prisoners of our own thoughts. But if we clean the third chakra cords, and begin to open the mind towards new possibilities, then tremendous shifts in consciousness can manifest in our lives. This is the same process as in good psychotherapy, or in authentic spiritual seeking. It is what happens when a seeker begins to dissolves the chains of their emotional and mental slavery, and starts down the road towards freedom. This freedom is from both emotional addiction or slavery (second chakra dysfunction) and conditioned opinion (third chakra dysfunction), and is the door leading to higher chakra functioning.  We all have to do the personal development work with our body, emotions, and mental conditioning before we can become truly free.

The sanskrit name for the third chakra is Manipura, which means “City of Gems”. Our ideas about reality and ourselves become gems to us, precious enough to protect. We defend our mental conditioning at all costs, often equating our very identity with whatever we hold to be true. The traditional spiritual paths always stress the importance of dissolving this conditioning: to replace habitual thinking with personal presence, an awareness that is able to track the natural reflex of the mental process. We learn to “keep an open mind”, as opposed to seek the false comfort offered to us by the opinion of others, or our own thinking process. The training of an inner witness forms a major part of many spiritual traditions.

Physiologically, the central location of the ten-petaled third chakra (different writers place it either in the navel region or the solar plexus area) connects it with the pancreas, the stomach, and other digestive organs. The third chakra is symbolically reflected in what we “take in”, “digest”, and how we further refine that nourishment. The pancreas balances sugar, the liver purifies the blood, all of which reflect Manipura’s function of creating building blocks out of available material. The red-gold color assigned to Manipura by Sanskrit sources best symbolically describe this alchemical chakra: it refines the gold of potential presence out of the rock of raw thoughts. Getting to the point of having an opinion about something is only a half-way step. The next step is to question your opinion, and to then drop back into the presence of your observer self. Manipura’s higher function is to refine our thinking process towards the creation of inner presence. It is also preparing us for the next stage of our spiritual evolution: the opening of the compassionate heart.

This energy center of human consciousness that emerges from the spine like a flower, and terminates in a six-petaled structure above the pubic bone. Its function is to provide an emotional connection to other people, as well as to the self. It accomplishes this by linking emotional reaction with relational attachment. The second chakra energizes relationships with desire (“I want it”) or with aversion (“Get away from me”).

The second chakra draws energy up from the Earth prana accumulated by the first chakra (see Muladharachakra here) as well as being stimulated through food and other sensual delights. Visual appeal, tactile pleasure, pleasant sounds such as music, delicious tastes … all the human senses help to create aliveness in the second chakra that may then shared with others, or turns towards nourishing the self within.

In addition to its functioning as a sensory center that forms initial attachments to others and then shares pleasure with them, the second chakra can also form attachment to unhealthy relationships, or can become addictive. The same mechanism designed to connect us to healthy people can also attach us to unhealthy and toxic individuals. The childlike and pre-verbal IQ of the second chakra may be unable to discern the difference between all these options for relationship until later in life.

If the second chakra develops well we are able to form healthy relationships with others that provide companionship, and with whom we can share pleasure. This is one of the reasons the second chakra is usually characterized as the sexual chakra: the center for longing and desire. But healers who work with the chakra system also acknowledge Swadhisthana’s place in building a healthy immune system, especially the necessary response to danger. Second chakra healing work usually includes additional support for the gastrointestinal immune system (GALT) – especially Peyer’s Patches – and the adrenals. These are the specific lymphatic and endocrine glands linked to the second chakra.

The vital energy created in the second chakra flows through all parts of the human body, to provide the fire that burns within us, to both create and maintain life. Unless we learn how to form attachments to others both in infancy and in later life, we will not develop into fully functional people. The second chakra keeps you emotionally healthy, and your energy field charged with prana. It also tells you what you don’t like, or warns you of potential danger. If something doesn’t “feel” right, or doesn’t “smell” good, it probably isn’t right. We refer to this as our “gut instinct”, the common experience of intuitively knowing something hidden about people, or sensing something about a situation that may cause us problems. This chakra also accesses the Enteric Nervous System, a primitive webbing of nerve cells intertwined throughout our gastrointestinal tract.

In Relational Energy Healing we work with an important part of the functioning of the second chakra: how it forms non-visible cords of attachment – chakra cords – to significant people in our lives. This is how we get our basic human needs met (infant survival), seek emotional nurturance (companionship, sexuality) and how we sustain long-term relationships. Healing in these areas can be enhanced by work on two important second chakra connections: the chakra cord to the mother, and the chakra cord to the father. It is these two earliest connections (or substitute connections to other caregivers if the birth parents are absent) that most heavily influence our adult emotional life. Here is the matrix within which we will grow our emotional reality. These influences are often the unconscious and yet deciding factors in many of our life choices. The experiences with our parents, and the download of DNA/heritage patterns from their family line, flows into our second chakra from the moment of birth. Many of the emotional challenges that we deal with stem from the non-conscious impact of family patterns downloaded into our emotional system. An important part of personal development is to see the difference between our own feelings and longings as separate from the issues in our family.

Of course, resolving family karma is always grist for the mill for personal development, and also is a part of our spiritual journey. Often when we clean the chakra cords, and clarify the emotional patterns laid down by our DNA/heritage, we can come to release the past more quickly, and make relational choices that are much more in alignment with our authentic self. We can come to live our lives for ourselves, and not live just as an extension of an ancestor’s karmic pattern.

At a practical level this means strengthening and clearing the second chakra as an energetic organ (so that if functions well), to heal trauma if present, and to support any lack of development in second chakra development. Then we can move into cleaning the chakra head of lower astral influences that may be feeding off any unresolved past emotion. One example is sentimentality - which is any lingering feeling state disproportionate to a real situation – as well as any other emotion pattern that keeps a person locked into the past. These emotional habits can be energetic food for the lower astral world. We all deserve to have our second chakras be in-the-moment, to be clean of history, and able to fully serve us in the moment.

The addition of chakra cord cleaning and repair work in Relational Energy Healing is built upon other work done on the healthy functioning – or healing – of the second chakra. By directly addressing the cord connections to significant others we inventory those relationships so as to make vital in-the-moment decisions about are lives. Are you in a lingering relationship that no longer serves you, and saps your life energy? Are you with an addictive person who you can’t let go, or with someone who won’t let you go? These are two examples of where cord work can help you move forward. The cords of connection can be reset when they are living in the past, and not rooted in the present. This process is supported and enhanced by good psychotherapy.

We grow as human beings through relationships, and through the ending of relationships. Chakra cord connections into (or from) the second chakra provide the basic attachment functionality of our personality. They transmit the consciousness in how we make – or end – relationships. They energize our desires, and support our immune systems response to danger. The second chakra cords are the way we grow into our humanity, but they may unconsciously hold the consciousness of how we unknowingly restrict our potential. The pleasure and pain of human relationships rests on this, the “root” consciousness system flowing out of (and into) the second chakra. If you want to grow a healthy plant you have to nourish the roots. Human beings are energetically rooted into other people, and into family karmic patterns. Our strengths and problem-solving skills flow from our emotional functioning. We all know that if we don’t heal the past we will revisit it, again and again. Let’s get to the place in our unsatisfying relationships where enough is enough … let’s heal them, or move on from any restrictive, self-abusive habits of our past. Let’s embrace our full emotional potential now, and not die an unfulfilled life.

Related post: The Third Chakra.

Prior to the advent of the 1960′s and 1970′s relationships had models (assumed frameworks) within which individuals could pattern themselves. Adults aligning themselves with the excepted social relationship pattern of the day (the “traditional” marriage) and then would be carried along various stages over the course of a lifetime: courtship, marriage, mortgage, children, and finally retirement. As these generational-specific social patterns have eroded over the past thirty years (resulting in high rates of divorce and family breakups) the psychotherapy model heroically stepped in to save the day. “Look at your issues”, said the psychotherapists, “and let us show you how to work through any problem in your relationships.”

But one problem with this approach is that most people want others to change; very few people want to embrace significant change for themselves, or to engage in what one psychotherapist termed “The hard-work miracle”: personal development. Additionally, change is not the act of simply changing our minds and then making a new choice; many of the patterns in our relationships flow from a source other than our personal history. The apparent power that our relationship patterns have in our lives is strongly embedded and reinforced in our habitual actions. To the energy healer, these forces flow along chakra cords and are fueled by heritage-based Astral thought forms. To the energy healer your relationship issue may not be your issue: it may be a heritage/DNA one, fueled by hidden Astral energies.

Layered within each chakra cord lies your heritage habits, like growth rings on a tree, where your family patterns will await the right time and circumstances to become active in your life. When triggered, these family patterns attract a series of events or individuals into your life as a way to perpetuate their particular pattern. These repeating family dynamics are often masked from sight because they may skip a generation. Your personal life issues are most likely variations on your grandmother’s or grandfathers challenges, either maternal or paternal. In order to get to your personal development you have to peel away – and resolve – your family “karma”. This is always easier said, of course, than done.

While I am a big fan of psychotherapy as an essential tool to process our personal and relationship issues I feel more tools are needed on our transformational journey through life. We often need to clear away the energetic patterning of our ancestors so we can see the new choices available beyond our heritage habits. Clearing DNA/heritage patterns from the auric field is arguably more important than a past life healing as heritage issues are eternally present to our consciousness system, whereas past life issues are most often traumatic events left unresolved in the astral component of the auric field. Of course it is important to work through any incomplete death or unresolved life, but heritage/DNA cord work is usually far closer to home. It lives in each human cell, in real time, supported by memories held in both the physical and the auric field.

If there is a regular sequence my clients follow it is this: triage (get out of immediate danger), healing (resolve shock or trauma to the energy system, and then return to the pre-trauma developmental state), reflexive personal process (learning to work through adult personal challenges in an effective way), and then to glimpse new opportunities, which is followed by improved relationships and other events that take your life to a new and improved level. One of the keys to moving through this sequence is the awareness and clearing of heritage patterns. Think of it as a jump out of your usual outcome, and into a new evolutionary stream of development.

So, what if your relationship issues were not only your issues? How would it change things for you, to know that you were acting upon the unsolved relationship dynamics of your ancestors?

Three common symptoms of invasive chakra cord are numbing, habitual usage (resignation), and the active denial of a truth.

1. Numbing: When an invasive cord attaches to the head of the chakra it resembles a fish hook or a cord with suckers at its terminus. Like the insect bite it resembles this cord will numb the chakra, thereby restricting its natural functioning. As an example, with an invasive cord in Swadhisthana (Second) Chakra an individual will experience reduced tactile feeling in their animal (sensual) body, as well as possible immune system compromises.

2. Habitual Usage (Resignation): Some invasive cords have been with an individual most of their lives, possible put in place by a parent or other caretaker. The invasion effects (energy drain, lack of freedom or personal development experienced in adulthood) are now considered inevitable or karmic by that person: the individual simply cannot imaging a life without being controlled, or drained.

3. Active Denial: One of the major hurdles in personal development work is the psycho-emotional structures that support denial in our lives. The truth of our situation can be clearly seen by another who is outside of any denial system, but those within the system will actively work to refuse to acknowledge what is really going on. Invasive cords that support denial are often group (shared identity) cords; everyone in the family or group agrees to agree on the same view of reality. This type of  networked cord system commonly supports political propaganda, for instance, or efforts that are designed to keep our attention from wandering where it really should go; to the discovery of an important truth.

Removing invasive chakra cords should bring significant results into an individuals life, usually in the form of increased energy, more awareness about the life issue the cord represents, and individual freedom of choice. It is also essential for spiritual development of all kinds, as we must be free to grow in our own direction and not be induced to support the agenda of others. Once the cord is removed the chakra will begin the return to its natural and healthy state, slowly improving the mental and emotional lives of the former victim. They will resume their spiritual evolution, now unfettered by the outside influence.

Invasive cords are those that most energy healers will intuitively attempt to “cut”. But my preference is to remove the invasive cord at its terminus, rather than attempt to traumatize the energy body even further with “cutting” techniques. After cord removal an individual will have much more prana available for their energy system, which is now available for satisfying life pursuits, relationships, or personal and spiritual evolution.

Then, in the midst of an energy healing session, my spirit helper had nudged me and pointed at the chakra cord I was cleaning. “There, you see those thin branches sprouting out of the relational cord going towards her mother? They root back into the chakra, and anchor the experience of “Mother” into her auric system. Try gently pulling them back towards the head of the chakra. See what happens when you do so.”

I had tried to take hold of these newly-discovered branching cords but they were, indeed, tiny and extremely delicate. It took a few more healing sessions before I had learned how to take hold of  each fragile “self-cord” and gently move them into contact with the outer edge of the chakra. Then I watched as, like a magnet attaching to metal, the self-cord automatically attached itself into the chakra, and stayed in place. At least, most of the time. Sometimes they just sprang back to their former position, of hanging out next to their host cord.

But I persisted in learning this new skill, and I’m glad I did. The positive results of self-cord work have been reported back to me from my clients over the past six years.  Self-cord attachment has become a vital part of my healing work: the energetic anchoring of “the experience of the other” into the auric consciousness system. These days – and without dramatic catharsis – many of my clients make slow, steady, but significant shifts in their perception of themselves as individuated beings.

With this particular relational energy healing skill, nice and easy does it. Of course catharsis can be helpful in certain cases of repressed expression, but it is not essential for all stages of our personal growth work. Growing a stable connection to the self is essential to us all, and self-cord work can help that process.

When root chakra cords are weakly or reluctantly attached to the living planet we will feel like orphans; that we don’t belong here. Root chakra cords from the First Chakra and also from the feet chakras provide essential connections to the natural world. Mother Earth is the base note, the fundamental beat, of our physical manifestation. Without her maternal support we cannot grow up strong; we dare not take on the risk to become fully potent, passionately alive. And without such aliveness, we will never develop into our full potential: as fully embodied creative and spiritual beings.

Muladhara Chakra (and other chakra images on this site) are courtesy of Trebor Smith of Satori Vision Graphics

Our animal body is the link between Earth and Spirit, and is the launching pad for our wings of divine desire. Our sensual nature urges us to fly, to feast, to hunt, to survive… and to fully immerse ourselves in the Divine creation. And then, from the depths of matter, we begin to awaken.

The first chakra is linked with the ovaries and testes: the life-generating endocrine glands. Our animal body springs from the earth and from the vitality of our DNA/heritage energies.

Our personal development in Muladhara (Mula = root, Adhara = support) requires both roots (to Mother Earth) and wings (basic trust in exploring the living world). Poet Mary Oliver points the way for us, in her marvelous poem Wild Geese,

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love
 what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile, the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across landscapes,

over the prairies and deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting—

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

- Wild Geese, from Dream Work (1986) by Mary Oliver.

The mechanism for inappropriate relationships can be seen wired into the Etheric body via the chakra cord system, and manifests in how we repetitively seek to connect to another person who is not good for us. As adults we are repeating an earlier (and dysfunctional) solution to an authentic childhood need, originally frustrated due to family circumstances. In our childhood while reaching out to find love and appreciation from our caregivers we may have been met with schizoid absence, borderline fragmentation, or narcissistic exploitation. An awareness of our habitual process, where we discover how we do this, is the first step, and is then followed by the dissolving of challenging relationship contracts.

We then move on to the next step: energetically reclaiming the lost emotional consciousness when hooked into an inappropriate relationship. We can begin to heal the exhausting energy drain – which is how invasive cords manifestly affect the physical system – by initiating a self-care regime to reverse it, as well as deliberately pulling the lost or stolen energy back into our cells. Once we are filled with our life force (as opposed to innocently handing it over to someone in the vain hope of receiving love in return for capitulation) we can move more easily to release them, and to begin preparations for the arrival of a better choice. This waiting period is the trial-by-fire that most children of dysfunctional families fear the most: an empty time, unfilled by the drama and chaos caused by dysfunctional friends and lovers, but it an essential time for clearing away the past.

Chakra cord energy healing work pulls the energy you habitually give to the other back into yourself, so you can experience a new-found expansion of self. To support the healing process you must break the habit of contact with the other, and make a conscious decision to wait for healthy change to integrate into your energy consciousness system. You use the waiting time to reset your values to those that any healthy individual would expect to have in a relationship. Start working to draw someone into your life who is at the same level of awareness as you, someone who demonstrates a track record of words consistent with their actions, and someone capable of self-reflection and mutuality.

This wait may be lonely at times. But the healing of an inappropriate relationship is worth its weight in gold, because ultimately – just like precious metals – your life force has an intrinsic value, recognized the world over, as opposed to a paper fiat currency or the “promise to pay”. Choose yourself, respect yourself, be loyal to yourself right now. Know your value. Heal your past where – for whatever reason – you could not have made a healthy choice. Consciously release relationships of questionable value, learn to tolerate the inevitable loneliness of the gap, and prepare for the arrival of your new life.