Catching light with your camera requires three things: lens aperture (the size of the opening of the lens letting in light), the speed of the shutter (which regulates just how much light falls on the CMOS sensor), and the amount of light available to you out in the world when you take the picture (the exposure). When the photographer manually sets these three parameters, and composes an interesting picture, we know the results can be wonderful. But if one of the three are not aligned the results will be a failed opportunity. Everything needs to be set up right.

Similarly, the chakra needs three things to function well, and build an enlightened reality: a receptive (and healthy) chakra (equivalent to aperture size) that takes in all kinds of light, not just a limited frequency, an attentive mind/body (equivalent to shutter speed) that awakens to all input, and opportune life experience that can stimulate personal or spiritual growth (equivalent to exposure). Unlike the camera our chakras both interpret (intake) and co-create (output) events in the outer world. Increase the amount of light available to us (say, through a spiritual practice) and we will “see” things in a new way. Open our receptivity to the world (through energy healing or other modalities that assist personal growth) and new options suddenly open up to us. Put ourselves into a new experience (e.g., a course of study, a spiritual journey, a different kind of relationship) and we expose ourselves to previously-unexpected possibilities.

Manually operating our camera forces us to think about all three parts of how our camera works in order to catch light in a singular moment. Similarly, personal growth asks us to break down how we function in life, and offers us the opportunity to step outside of habitual patterns that will always bring us predictable outcomes.

Of course we can leave our camera – or our life – on automatic, and let the in-build programming make all the decisions for us. We’ll still get some nice snaps … but to make art with our camera (or with our life) we have to turn the don’t-want-to-think-about-this function off. We have to go manual all the way. We have to study, and see what does what, and why. Because with our automatic settings switched off, anything is truly possible.

]]> http://www.blog.deanramsden.com/the-camera-and-the-chakra/feed/ 0 http://www.blog.deanramsden.com/how-psychic-healing-works/ http://www.blog.deanramsden.com/how-psychic-healing-works/#comments Tue, 15 Feb 2011 00:25:52 +0000 Dean Ramsden http://www.blog.deanramsden.com/?p=3684 There are two ways to gain life experience – and to process that experience. The first is to gain life experience yourself, to move through life events and necessary stages from the standpoint of primal innocence. It is as if you need a software program for your computer, and you build the code yourself, from scratch. The second way to gain life experience is to benefit from the experience and resources of another person: to learn from someone who has already processed aspects of the human experience and has produced a practical system to deal with life. This is analogous to downloading software to install on your computer. Within minutes you can have a software program (the energetic “wiring” to deal with things in a new way) running on your “hardware” (your auric energy body), and you can do things differently than before. You are now benefiting from another person’s work (the skill and effort they put into creating the program) and you are able to write your novel (Word Processor) or explore the internet (Web Browser).

In other words, psychic energy healing passes on life experience by upgrading your energy body via a direct interaction or your energy consciousness system with another. This teaching process occurs all the time in life. It happens when you are a baby, and your mother unconsciously passes on to you the life experience of being taken care of (mothering), and then teaches you how to take care of yourself (to become a young adult). It happens at school when you are impacted by teachers and school friends, gaining both practical information (language skills, social skills, and so on) as well as vital life skills ( interacting with individuals other than your family, including those that may mock you or attack you for no obvious reason.). The act of living is about gaining both bad experiences and good experiences. In the first, we are learning through trial-and-error: the hard way. In having good experiences we reinforce our ability to individuate (separate our psyches from the mass consciousness of family and society) and come to be able to have a good life – to make money, find companionship and love, express ourselves creatively, to have children of our own, and to grow as a spiritual being.

Psychic healing is the specialized skill or knowledge to be able to affect our consciousness … that which supports good experiences for us, and also which heals bad experiences. There are many relationships that do this: the mother, father, teacher, friend, lover, priest, or guru. Whenever someone helps you to understand your life, or helps you make better decisions for yourself, that individual is acting as a healer for you. They have something (life experience) that you currently do not have. And you do not have to reinvent the wheel, or build any software program of consciousness from scratch. You can learn it from another. Or, you can spend time around someone who knows something you need to understand, and hope that it is transmitted to you.

We learn about life from our parents. From our siblings. From our schooling experiences. From our relationships with others. And we learn from our mistakes. We search for information on how to live when we align with a religious path, or study with a spiritual teacher. We learn about life through falling in love with others, or by the ending of an important relationship. We may learn through reading a book, or listening to an educational lecture, or even through the impact of a psychoactive drug. Human beings are very versatile in gaining life experience from other people, or by joining a group of people such as a spiritual/religious community. Downloading life experience is what human beings do in order to progress themselves.

Psychic healing is a specialized form of this process of personal development. It deals by working directly with the human energy system: the auric field, the chakras, the chakra cords, along with the spirit (or Astral) word. When done correctly it makes the gaining of good life experience and the repair work of dealing with a bad experience (such as emotional wounding or relationship trauma) proceed faster, and with added efficiency. It’s analogous to when you need your car repaired. Yes, you can buy your own tools, and a book on how to repair the brakes on your car. You can learn to do it yourself, slowly, over time. Or, you can choose to take your car to the car mechanic. He may be able to repair your brakes quickly, so you can move on with your life. Psychic healing is the auto repair work of the human energy consciousness system. And it should effect a practical change in you.

Human beings all deal with similar issues: poor health, challenging relationships situations, personal growth concerns, and processing trauma or loss in their lives. The psychic healer’s work is to supplement the help of your physician by working with bio-energy to strengthen your organs. The psychic healer can supplement psychotherapy by opening your eyes to the hidden world of the astral, and helping to effect a necessary change in your inner world. The psychic healer can support your personal growth by helping you access latent abilities, or can help you understand your challenges from a new perspective. And, the psychic healer can assist you in letting go of the past so you can then move on, and create better a better life in the future.

Traditionally the psychic healer is an individual able to enter into the world of spirits, and who has experience in interacting with forces within the psyche that are usually hidden, or sometimes which masquerade as other things. The psychic healer should able to transmit (or direct) bio-energy that can upgrade your auric energy field. He or she may be able to see things in you that others don’t see: your potential. The psychic healer should be able to work with you as both a struggling human being and as an embodied soul. In that dance – between awakening of spirit in the body and sifting through life experience to evolve to our highest potential – we all need support.

We do not need to learn the dance of life alone. Other people can teach us all the steps, can train us how to move and flow. And then we can move on to have a full life, a good life. We can embrace  the life that we were always meant to live. We can be free.

Related Post: Energy Healing Speeds Up Personal Growth

But these two psycho-emotional domains process human restrictions and rules very differently. The Infant Mind is easily flooded with emotional surges of undifferentiated energies easily placed out onto other people, or into the outer world. Psychological projection (projecting inner energies onto the outer world) and denial (the emotional refusal to admit what is obvious to the senses) act as two such foundational mechanisms in our early infant development. They both support the slow unfolding and integration of our psychological human complexity, and how we come to make sense of the outer world. The process by which we do this is called personal development, one that proceeds through definable stages.

Once we move further into the development of the Adult Mind (where we possess an individuated and relational consciousness) we will run into some significant challenges. Two of these hurdles are the mainstay of both religion and socio-political ideology: values and ethics. A value or ethical system works well in our early life because of our need for structure (“Tell me how to behave”), our social needs (adaptation to family and society), and spiritual longings (“Tell me what a good/admired/spiritual person should do or feel”) help normalize a person into their culture. Ideally, we should emerge into young adulthood with a mostly clear definition of what a good person is, how we should behave, what we should strive for, and how we should treat other people. This is essential to the early stages of personal development. That is, until these same values and ethics actually begin to hold back our spiritual development by restricting our personal and spiritual freedom.

The narcissistic and borderline personality structures leapfrog this early developmental process of normalization to family and society, and the acceptance of the value of other human beings, by going straight to the dissolution of values and ethics. This misses the essential humanizing step of growth where we come to realize the effect our actions have on others. That’s why the narcissist or borderline characters wound us so deeply; they are unable to treat us as having value, as deserving of care, and with respect. In contrast, a healthier human being transitions through these various growth stages, taking on values and ethics until such a time as these same values start to restrict, rather than support. Values (what is important in life, and what is not) and ethics (how I should behave towards others and towards myself) tend to shift significantly as the Adult Mind moves into closer contact with spiritual realities.

The actions of someone in transition from the world of accepted values and ethics and into freedom of thought and action is sometimes seen as Crazy Wisdom. An individual expressing crazy wisdom is someone who acts in unconventional ways that run counter to the normal person in society. This is different from the act of madness, or social dysfunction. In order to awaken to the higher states of spiritual awareness the certainties and assumptions that served us so well in the past  (other people telling us what to do, and how to be) fades into the background, to be replaced by … the freedom to be.

The freedom to be is not that same freedom sought by the infant to do what she wants, whenever she wants, consequence-free. Spiritual freedom grows out of values and ethics of our earlier life, akin to the lotus flower growing out of the mud. Crazy wisdom comes into our spiritual lives when we finally begin to express ourselves as truly and authentically ourselves, rather than unconscious echoes of long-dead teachers, or our parents. Crazy wisdom is the spiritual decision to act from your true and authentic nature, rather than unconsciously following the agendas passed on to you by others.

Crazy wisdom comes into your life when begin to embrace the freedom to be, the freedom to think for yourself, the freedom to feel your own emotions, and the freedom to deal with life on your own terms. The fundamental foundation of crazy wisdom will always the care taken not to hurt or exploit others, even as an expression of our spiritual freedom. One man has stated it clearly for us all. “My religion is very simple,“ said the Dalai Lama, “My religion is kindness.” In our personal development we will come to do what we want, but must do so lovingly, with care, and with respect for other people.

And how to differentiate between the spiritual narcissist, and the expression of crazy wisdom? Between dysfunction, and authentic personal development? Here’s one way to check: does the other consistently take you and your needs into account?

Ultimately, crazy wisdom is kindness in action… to ourself, and towards others. It is freedom from dualistic values, and a confrontative challenge to normalized, “acceptable” behavior. It strives to do no harm to others, whenever possible. And, it is our future.

But most jelly fish – the nearest biological model for chakra cord structure – just don’t like it when you brush up against them in their natural environment. My arm now felt on fire, showing mottled red skin topped by a dangerous-looking welt. I momentarily considered returning to the mainland for treatment until a lifeguard ran over to help me, pulling an analgesic spray from his First Aid kit. He had watched many unlucky Westerners emerging from the ocean this week, grimacing. I did feel lucky that he had not offered me the local (and inexpensive) remedy for this kind of sting: fresh urine.

My body thankfully kicked into healing mode, responding to the pain with endorphins. But I also found myself dropping into an interesting state of consciousness around the injury. I wasn’t angry at the jelly fish (after all, I was the one invading his back yard, and not the other way around) and I was not in a life-threatening situation. But, it would have been human enough to blame the jelly fish for being bad, and to miss the obvious lesson: that life is a contact sport. We all play in the trenches of life, and we need to get our hands dirty. Being born human means learning to accept both pleasure and pain, comfort and discomfort, as two sides of the same coin. When we organize our lives around seeking pleasure while resisting pain it can result in all sorts of imbalances in modern day life: from consumerism to various forms of addictions. We overly consume, I suspect, to avoid feeling emotionally empty, and to fill the emptiness with momentary pleasure. We blame, and get angry at those things that bring us pain, rather than to embrace the life energy that many painful events awaken in us.

One of the tenets of modern Western energy healing work is that, by exploring the issues around emotional pain, an understanding will naturally arise, and thus heal the discomfort. Once cured, we imagine we can again return to our usual pleasure-seeking ways. At least, that is, until the next misfortune befalls us, or an addiction returns to capture our attention. Of course, the problem will always return if the solution is never embraced. My solution? Shift from victim to spiritual seeker. Pain is not just misfortune; it can be an opportunity for personal development.

Since the Nineteen Sixties psychotherapy has merged with various forms of energy healing to offer a solution that is helpful and yet not fully curative: that awareness can lead to new behavior, or permanent change. While earlier forms of energy healing channeled Divine intervention and grace, or transmitted life-enhancing prana from healer to client, psychotherapy dips into a grab bag of vitally-useful research on what has been found to help, or heal, the human psyche.

But the merging of psychotherapy with energy healing does not always lead to an enhanced form of energy healing. The very act of closely dissecting or expressing any emotional issue usually results in energizing that issue within the client. Don’t get me wrong: I am not recommending denial here; I’m suggesting an adjustment in the application of psychotherapeutic methods when it is deliberately blended with the energy healing process. My point is to only use insight methods as but one avenue to gain access to the blockage or poorly-developed inner resource held within the client’s energy field. Then, quickly more towards energizing the solution, rather than obsessing about the problem itself. I suggest that we build more bridges and roads, rather than to excavate mostly for hidden ruins, many of which are lost from everyday consciousness.

I’m a big fan of psychotherapy, but its goals are not the driving force of my healing practice with my clients. I want to swim, not dig. I want my clients to evolve, not simply return to the status quo. The initial dialog with my client, prior to each distance healing session, is only for us to locate a relevant entry point into their issue … one that will build energy towards the solution, and not feed the “problem”. Since the problem is often a symptom of the mind’s preference for pleasure-seeking and pain-avoidance, charging any issue with attention over time makes things worse, not better.

Now, placing my hand over my painful welt, I felt nothing but affection for my jelly fish mentor. I held my forearm carefully, in a place of acceptance for the sensitivity of my skin, as well as the reflexive defense of my tendrilled friend. He and I were in it together. The pain would soon subside, and both human and jelly fish would continue to go about their day, seeking nourishment from the ocean. I now need not avoid the ocean, so as to not experience this pain again. In sharing the world with other life forms in the universe there has to be a certain give-and-take… as well as making the choice to walk forward, on the road of life . If we only excavate the past, we will stay rooted in the past, and dominated by it. Let’s move forward, now, and towards freedom.

For instance, marriage ceremonies are a common initiation into the adult world. There are a series of invocations that culminate in the formation of a new state: the commitment of two individuals to share affection, resources, and to support each other. Ideally, such a ceremony brings together the aspirations of two people with the blessing of the community (wedding guests) and an officiating Ritual Elder (priest). Once the ceremony is over, the marriage begins. Actions follow, such as the creation of joint assets, learning to share money, and bringing children into the world. Each action brings its own challenges, but the end result should be a relational “container” where the needs of two people are supported, and personal development occurs.

Initiations are found throughout our lives, whether it is a graduation from college, a promotion to a leadership position in the workplace, or the creation of a work of art, the publishing of a book, or an athletic accomplishment. In the world of energy healing each practitioner must also move through a series of initiations that prepare them for the deeply soulful work of helping others. These specialized initiations follow the general theme outlined above but with one important addition: in order to take someone on a journey of self-discovery we have to have completed that journey ourselves. We mislead people when we attempt to initiate others into a container of growth that we have yet to complete for ourselves.

This is the Failed Initiation: where someone attempts to teach or mentor another in a process they, themselves, have not yet achieved. As Energy Healing is the transfer and interaction of one energy field (the healer) with another (the client) there can be important implications for any energy healer who has experienced a Failed Initiation. The issues of the healer’s failure  – whether a developmental challenge, an unhealed trauma from childhood, or an unresolved past-life pattern – are evoked within the container of their working relationship with a client. A client may be unable to complete their personal growth work if the Ritual Elder has not completed their own version of that growth.

There are several symptoms of energy healers acting as Ritual Elders for others, and who have suffered a Failed Initiation. The first symptom is a overwhelming yet unjustified sense of confidence in that healer’s abilities, despite a lack of mirrored success in the outside world. In other words, they become a legend in their own mind, rather than through actions that bring them verifiable results. Every initiated energy healer knows that the breadth of what they don’t know is staggering, and they are always seeking to gain new skills, new knowledge, and new insights in order to grow, and to improve themselves. A Ritual Elder who has experience a Failed Initiation rests confidently on the fruits of their past accomplishments, despite the flow of evolutionary progress going on around them.

The second symptom of the healer with a Failed Initiation is the hidden agenda. If I have any kind of plan for my client, if I try to mold my client into a form pleasing to my own world view, I am no longer functioning as a spiritual healer. I have become yet another force in the client’s life that seeks to use and exploit him. The initiated healer works to free the client of impediments to the flowering of the client’s personal development. The initiated healer’s only agenda must be to support the ultimate freedom of adult choice for their client.

Thirdly, a Failed Initiation healer recycles old material relentlessly: placing old wine in new bottles. In contrast, the initiated healer will attempt to flow with the Tao (to the best of their ability), to listen to the world around them, to track the hints of coming change emanating from the spiritual realms. Resting in the knowledge of the past, the initiated healer will move ever forward, into the future, and attempt to co-create new forms of healing work that address the needs of the modern individual.

To gain a successful initiation we must find an appropriate Ritual Elder who has successfully completed their initiation, follow the proscribed training, and be willing to drop through our conditioned preconceptions of the world into a deeper understanding of reality. Most importantly, we must choose to “take the drop”, or the fall from pride, by choosing to dissolve our old Egoic self via the initiation process. Our reward will be when the world appears to us new, because we, ourselves, have changed. When we find that we are no longer the same person who began the initiation process years ago.

But perhaps the most important end result of any successful initiation should be humility. This ancient virtue is what is gained by denying our self-importance as held in our Infant Mind (the Egoic self), and which allows us to accept what all initiates know to be true … that we are all only part of a vast movement of humans, only one of many who strive for healing, and for awakening. We are all in it together.

While energy healing should never be a replacement for psychotherapy many individuals find it a powerful adjunct to personal work, especially in healing a painful past. A psychic healer can step beyond the emotional or mental belief system of a client and help them see beneath the surface of their lives.

Much of popular psychotherapy makes three assumptions:

1. Authentic emotional expression helps release repressed feelings and beliefs;
2. Communication, and the empathic response by the other, can result in resolution;
3. Radical honesty (i.e., telling the truth at any cost) will somehow lead to an improved outcome.

In other words, the biblical pronouncement of “The truth will set you free” (John 8:32) is applied to psychological healing. But many healers have discovered that uncovering the repression of an emotion or belief system does not always bring effective healing and transformation into a client’s life. Yes, it helps a great deal, but it is not enough. The missing factor for clients is often the exploration of how hidden agendas may be affecting their situation.

Hidden agendas may run many of the psychological and emotional issues that we struggle with, either our internal beliefs (e.g., low self-esteem that sabotages growth) or external agendas that affect the natural development of our lives (usually through some form of trauma). While the dynamics between internal and external hidden agendas are different the result they give us is the same: the motives of any hidden agenda co-opt the client’s life energy. The hidden agenda essentially hijacks a client’s life force, leaving them subservient to something – or someone – else.

Both Shamanism and energy healing are familiar with this issue, often discovering lower astral influences running beneath the surface of the client’s personal process, or addressing a relational connection that must be removed before the client can move forward with their life. But it’s not all bad news. People find that the struggle to break free of hidden agendas brings the reward of inner growth. When you do escape from bondage, you become a stronger person.

Hidden agendas run rife in our modern societies, with their enormous social (and media-supported) emphasis in conforming to an orthodox world view where dissenters are labeled as either dangerous radicals, anarchists, or “conspiracy theorists”. Many of us are concerned that we are entering deeper into territory immortalized by George Orwell in his dystopian novel, 1984: a world of censorship where history is doctored, or manufactured, and where meaning is reversed while being treated as truth.

The Orwellian fantasy illuminates the core of many of our current social problems. The truth will not set you free if the information you believe to be true is distorted, manipulated, or incomplete. Only the hard, transformational work of searching for hidden agendas can ever hope to remove any toxic imprint forced (or foisted) upon us by others. Energy healing (and Shamanism) are important tools to reveal to us the true impact of unseen worlds, and to help us look with new eyes at our problems. We must come to see where others attempt to make us subservient to their goals, often causing us suffering, while they remain in hiding. We must, like Toto in The Wizard of Oz, get curious, and go over to take a look at the man behind the curtain.

But to excel at any profession we must undergo a training program, or improve upon our existing natural skills. Any good training process will do three things. One: teach us the different levels of healing – what it is, how it happens, and help us understand what will help a client. Two: gain an array of practical and effective tools – such as how to run various types of pranic energy, how to interact with the complex auric anatomy, how to remove the things that block a client’s progress, and much more. Three: we all need feedback and mentoring; an experienced guide that can point us in a constructive direction, provide us with training tools, and believe in our value when we become disheartened.

The best way to get Energy Healing training is to find a group or a class, and to have access to teaching aids, good lecturers, and practice clients. Of course, it is rare to find a good teacher close to home, and many of us have logged thousands of air miles in search of a good education. But if finances are tight, or getting time away from work or family obligations is difficult, there is another way to grow your experience and knowledge as a healer: Video Conference Tutoring. This personalized one-on-one training service is extremely cost-effective when compared to weekend/week-long training courses. Plus, you get individual attention from the teacher, and a series of sessions fine-tuned to your individual needs.

How does it work? First, download the free Skype software and link it up to a video cam and microphone on your computer. Broadband internet access is a must, of course. If you are interested in a trial session please email me with your questions. Currently, I’m running tutoring sessions at the same cost as my distance healing sessions. Let me know if you are looking for basic training, intermediate training, or advanced/post-Graduate training such as chakra cord work, or Astral healing skills. Now, no matter where you live, you can have access to advanced energy healing training in the comfort of your own home. How cool is that?

To read an example of a Video Conference Tutoring session follow this link.

Testimonials.

“Recently I began a series of video sessions on relational cord healing with Dean Ramsden.  Dean has a wealth of knowledge and expertise based on years of personal experience.  In his teaching through the video sessions there is a clarity and precision that comes through very effectively.  With this format I have enjoyed having the undivided attention of the teacher!  In addition the sessions are fun, as Dean has a wonderful sense of humor.  I can definitely recommend this method of learning to anyone wishing to learn more about relational cord healing.”
-H.L.S., Canada.

“As a practice client of my healer (see above) and as a non-computer person, this Skype session was a first for me but I felt completely safe, guided and connected to both healers: the student (my healer) and Dean Ramsden, the teacher.  Both healers were completely present for me during the session so that it became a profound, intimate and personal experience.  Dean’s honesty and authenticity were inspiring to me.  Dean demonstrated an ability to track my process in such a loving way, one that I, as a therapist, have not seen in many well-known therapists.  No nuance was lost as the session progressed.  Dean knows how much is enough.  As a result of this session of relational cord work, I was able to make a quantum shift and walked away feeling lighter, brighter, more clear and focused.  I would recommend Dean’s sessions on relational cord work to anyone.”
-A.M., Canada.

There is another tyranny of which to be cautious: scientific authoritarianism. The scientific expert, we are told, will tell us what is real over that which is primitive. The medical technician will tell us what medication we should take, not the shaman, or the wise woman. Herbal medicine is primitive, science tells us: take Prozac instead. Or Lipitor. We are encouraged to revere the scientist, despite knowing that the ability to create medical drugs or to manufacture advanced computer chips does not equate to an equivalent spiritual or moral development. We should always question any point of view that elevates the technician over the spiritual teacher, materialism over spiritualism, corporatism over tribalism. And, style over substance.

To train in depth to become a psychic helps release the grip of scientific imperialism on our lives, because the moment we deepen our connection to our soul nature we immediately realize we are, fundamentally, free. This realization alone takes us half-way to becoming a psychic human. The rest is just training and practice, done over time.

So, what are the steps to fully developing our psychic nature? If we have accepted that we have a soul, that others have a soul, and that our work on earth is to express our divine nature, how can we develop further?

In my view the first task is to begin to build increased awareness of yourself as an energy being. This does not imply any rejection of your physical nature, but does ask that you take on a physical and energetic personal practice that will charge – and clear – your energy body. Various styles of meditation, guided visualizations, yoga, and martial arts are examples of such private practices. The idea is to learn to shift from a body-centered awareness of self into the energy-body-centered awareness of our true nature.

Secondly, we must activate or further develop those aspects of our psychic nature that are the the building blocks of the psychic. Here’s a list of some essentials:

* Develop your intuition: learn to become aware of hidden forces, within and without.

* Track universal trends and adapt to these greater forces.

* Learn to shift and change habitual mental/emotional patterns in order to enhance your life.

* Commune with the spirit world, and build allies in the Astral realms.

* Gain awareness of the lower astral world and the ambivalent astral beings.

* Encourage the flow of prana between yourself and another, in either active or passive modes.

* Find teachers; put together a series of teacher-helpers who can activate your full potential.

* Release the bonds unconsciously dominating your life, and make new soul choices.

* Create a strong and healthy etheric double.

* Develop your inner eye: Agnya chakra.

* Draw upon the pre-existing wisdom of your soul: the Guru chakra.

* Develop discernment: learn where – and with whom- to invest your precious life force

* Find your life’s work in the world.

If this work interests you please join me on Monday February 9, at 9pm EST, for a teleclass exploring many of these important areas in your psychic development Each class will be a combination of lecture and exercise, as well as the opportunity to submit to me your personal questions and comments. As a bonus, you will be able to download a CD-quality archive recording of each hourly class, to review and practice the class exercises.

Parental Alienation Syndrom (PAS) is a painful condition I’ve experienced with my own children, and is an issue slowly making its way into public awareness. Parental alienation is considered a form of child abuse, deeply disturbing the emotional health of everyone affected by it. What is Parental Alienation Syndrome? It’s a disorder proposed by American psychiatrist Dr. Richard A. Gardner, who writes that it is “a disturbance in which children are obsessively preoccupied with depreciation and/or criticism of a parent. In other words, denigration that is unjustified and/or exaggerated.” The effects of one parent’s psychological warfare with their ex-spouse is played out in the lives of their children who often “choose” to reject or marginalize the victimized parent. The damage that can be done in turning children against a parent is often permanent, inflicting trauma on both the children and the victimized father.

Dr. Gardner also writes, “Many of these children proudly state that their decision to reject their fathers is their own. They deny any contribution from their mothers. And, the mothers often support this vehemently. In fact, the mothers will often state that they want the child to visit with the father and recognize the importance of such involvement, yet such a mother’s every act indicates otherwise.”

If you are a child of a family separated by divorce, and you were raised to believe your father (or mother) was always bad or wrong, or even potentially abusive, then you may be a victim of parental alienation. If you chose to reject your alienated parent, and no longer have them in your life, you may be unknowingly suffering from this socially-denied form of child abuse. While there are a small number of fathers who are recognizably abusive, many of them of good and loving men, and are damaged by PAS as are their children. Worn down by years of active – and passive – aggression and rejection by their children the heart-breaking result is often emotional capitulation, the acceptance that some things can never be changed. Many alienated fathers are shell-shocked and traumatized by years of ex-spousal abuse, and only a few will seek psychotherapy, or healing. Many fathers simply limp away, stoically shouldering their loss, traumatized for life as an unacknowledged victim of a hidden crime.

In my work as a relational energy healer I’m always learning from my own experiences as a partner, as a family member, and as an alienated parent. My own personal healing journey informs and guides mywork with others, giving me resources to draw from, and realities with which I have learned to come to face.

When I work with clients also affected by an issue of parental alienation the biggest stumbling block to the process of healing are the infant mind loyalty chakra cords held by the client towards the mother, as well as the denial of the pain of separation from the father. The alienating mother is the most common example of this syndrome, although one can also have an alienating father.

Although I can work to clean and untangle the chakra cords of a client affected by this trauma it is only when the client can come to terms with the aggression of their mother that a substantial change can occur. Often we don’t want to see the mean-spirited woman at work, the same woman we may have supported and cared for over many years. All of us have to work to uncover our hidden forms of aggression, but in this syndrome the infant mind unconsciously protects the mother from apparent wrong-doing at all costs. The black/white thinking of the infant mind within us struggles with the complexity of adult realities and with grown-up situations, and a shift may – or may not – occur. This kind of work is very individual, and there are no easy path to healing trauma.

It is the maternal loyalty chakra cords (especially in Swadhisthana chakra) connecting us to the mother that hold many associated issues in the client’s life in the same spider’s web of feelings that affect our eventual long-term connection to an actual (or potential) life partner. A client with PAS has their trust in men (or women) severely damaged due to the experience of parental alienation. Often a client will replace the healthy growing of trust towards a new partner with dysfunctional actions: increasing demands, testing, and other forms of controlling or abusive behavior. These behaviors, of course, produce the opposite effect intended by the client. Rather than force the other into compliance, the potential partner (unless co-dependent) usually leaves. Addictive problems may also be part of the mix of this syndrome, as the human psyche needs to maintain denial of psychological pain in some way, usually by dulling the feeling body with alcohol, nicotine, or drugs. The common result for many clients is a repetitive pattern of dysfunctional adult relationships, an attempted cording after cording to someone who will be eventually rejected, just as Daddy had to be rejected in order to be loyal to Momma. The original and early pattern of rejection (of the alienated parent) seeks to be energetically transplanted into the potential life partner. And, of course, this new relationship will fail.

For my clients affected by some form of parental alienation, the road to healing is unfortunately long and arduous. I always recommend (or even insist upon) professional psychological counseling in addition to relational energy healing work. Energy work alone is simply not enough, in these cases. My prayer is that as we grow in our social acceptance of this cruel syndrome we all become part of the healing process. I hope we can move it out of the shadows of denial, and into the light of common-day awareness where change, and support for the sufferers, can occur.

Speaking for all of the victims out there (myself included) I ask for your deep compassion for the loss of our children, and to please help where you ca,n in awakening society to the reality of this crime against human connection. The Father does have value, does matter, and the impact of the alienated Father will deeply impact Western society. And the healthy development of their children.

For further information, head out to the internet, of course. There are many good web sites out there, including various wikipedia entries, as well as various books on the subject such as the late Dr Richard Gardner’s The Parental Alienation Syndrome (1992). Here is a good YouTube introduction to PAS.